Feels like home
by sazoo
Summary: Takes place in Harry’s seventh year. Harry has broken up with Cho and tries to convince himself (and everybody else) that he has moved on, but has he? And if not, can Hermione help him?


Title: Feels like Home (1/?)  
Author: Sazoo  
Author email: sazoo83@hotmail.com  
Spoiler: GoF (all four books, to be on the safe side)  
Rating: PG (for now)  
Category: Romance  
Summary: Takes place in Harry's seventh year. Harry has broken up with Cho and tries to convince himself (and everybody else) that he has moved on, but has he? And if not, can Hermione help him?  
Disclaimer:It's all JK's, so don't sue:) I also borrowed part of the lyrics from the songs "Feels like home" (by Randy Newman) and "Even Angels Fall" (by Tom Whitlock and Jessica Riddle).  
  
(A/n: This is very loosely inspired by the song "Feels like home", I don't really think of it as songfic though. It's kind of fluffy and plotless but I'm hoping to touch some deeper feelings with it as well. Oh well just read it and see if you like it. Thanks to Heidi for Beta-reading and moral support. And of course to Puff, my very own Harry Potter. Without him for inspiration this story probably wouldn't have been written. I guess that's it, read and enjoy...)  
  
Chapter 1: Trying to get through   
  
"What about this one?" Harry held up yet another robe.   
It was as far as Hermione could see no different from the other ones and she told him so.   
  
"But this one has a hem of satin" he said while pointing to the fine line of black satin tracing around the hem of the robe.   
  
Hermione suppressed a giggle. This was certainly a new side of Harry. He had been trying on different outfits to wear for the pictures in the yearbook for over an hour. At first she had thought he was joking with her, she would never have suspected he could care so much about things like these. It seemed sort of, well, beneath him. But he sure looked serious enough now.   
  
"Hermi, please. You're not helping much sitting there with a silly grin on your face."  
The look he gave her to go with the comment was so desperate that   
Hermoine couldn't stop a huge smile from spreading on her face.   
  
"Oh Harry who cares? I never knew you were this vain."  
  
"I am not" Harry objected. Sitting down on his bed beside her.   
  
"You are too, right now you're worse than most the girls I know. Even Lavender"  
  
"I am NOT" Harry repeated in disbelief.  
  
"Okay maybe not Lavender" Hermione agreed, remembering the agonising hours she'd spent helping Lavender find a dress for last years Yuleball.  
  
"Well anyway what's wrong with that? Can't a boy mind the way he looks? Besides next year we won't be here and I want people to have good-looking memory of me" he explained, only half kidding.   
  
"You're just too much" Hermione exclaimed rolling onto her back laughing. Then suddenly she grew serious. "I can't believe this is our last year. It'll be nice to get out of here and get on with our lives, but I'll sure miss this place. We've had some great times here haven't we?" she said smiling up at Harry.  
  
"Yes, we have" he answered with a knowing grin on his face as he lay down next to her, looking up at the ceiling. "It's hard to believe we've been here so long. Can you believe we've seen eachother practically everyday for seven years?  
  
"At least during the school year" she added, keeping the facts straight as she always seemed to.  
  
"Well we've spent almost every Christmas together and three summer holidays" he pointed out.   
  
"True" she replied sitting up turning to look into his eyes. "You're like family to me, you know"  
  
"You *are* my family" Harry said. "You and Ron both."  
"Yes, Ron too of course" She added quickly, still drifting in thought. For a minute there she had been so lost in his eyes that she'd almost forgotten about their redheaded friend. "Where is he anyway?"  
  
"Probably off somewhere with that new girlfriend of his" Harry answered. Hermione could swear she hinted a tone of jealousy in his voice.   
Ron had grown into a very handsome young man. Red sleek hair, dazzling blue eyes and irresistible dimples. He was smart and funny and always seemed to have girls chasing after him. Hermione knew Harry had thought it was a bit difficult to accept this. He was used to always being the centre of attention, even though he didn't always enjoy it. But on the other hand she knew Harry was happy for Ron and so was she. He deserved it. Life hadn't always been easy for him being the youngest boy in the family he always felt the need to prove he was just as good as his brothers.   
  
Now he certainly has, Hermione thought to herself. Not that he has anything to be jealous of; she thought glancing over at Harry.  
He was now sitting up and examining the robe in his hands once again. Harry too had grown up. He was no longer the little boy she'd met on the Hogwarts Express nearly seven years ago. He had grown past her several inches. His face had matured, the cheekbones were sharper and the colour of his eyes seemed to have deepened even more. His body had changed as well; she blushed a bit thinking of the glimpses that she'd caught of his torso while he was trying on robes earlier. All the quidditch playing had certainly paid off.   
  
No doubt Harry, as Ron, had his share of admirers. He was after all the famous boy-who-lived. Despite all the attention he'd got from girls over the years his love had always been directed towards one girl. While Ron's feelings seemed to spread in all directions, the only one Harry had ever seemed to notice was Cho. They'd been a couple for about a year, but when she graduated last year she'd made it clear for Harry that he no longer had a place in her life. This had broken Harry's heart Hermione knew. It had almost broken hers as well just watching him hurt so much. They had never really talked about it, she had brought it up one time, but Harry had quickly explained that he'd got over her and moved on.  
A little too quickly.   
She knew better than to believe him, but decided to drop the subject, at least for the moment. It was hard to help him when he wouldn't even admit there was a problem.   
Harry had now gone from examining the robe to studying his nails.  
  
"Thinking of getting a manicure, are we?" she asked innocently.   
  
In return Harry grabbed a pillow and threw it at her head. Hermoine quickly got a hold of a pillow of her own and went to counter attack. This was the beginning of a pillowfight. They'd had several of those during the years Hermione recalled as she got in a good punch at his face.   
They rolled around swinging pillows at eachother until they were laughing so hard they could barely breathe. Then they rolled onto their backs and just lay there trying to catch their breath, still laughing a bit.  
  
"Oh Great" Harry said, trying to sound angry. "Like I don't have enough to do. Now I have to make my bed for the second time today".  
  
Hermione reached for her wand, ready to cast a bedmaking spell. She couldn't understand why Harry, or Ron for that matter, never bothered to learn spells that took care of such things. It was one thing that they never joined her in the Library as she worked on assignments for extra credit but this was something that would simply make life a bit easier. She retrieved her wand from the bedtable but suddenly stopped in mid-air as an idea struck her.  
  
"We'll we could always have a sleep over in my room" she suggested. Placing the wand once again on the table. "That way you don't have to make your bed again. At least not right now." She added with a wink.  
  
This was something they had started with during their fifth year. Harry had been having some really bad nightmares due to all the dramatic events during the Triwizard tournament, especially Cedric's death. One evening Hermione had suggested he'd come over and play some chess with her, to get his mind off things. There hadn't been much chess playing instead they had spent half the night talking. This had become somewhat of a tradition for them and for awhile Harry had spent at least one night a week in Hermiones room. At first they'd invited Ron, it felt kind of strange to exclude him but he always seemed to busy with his current girlfriend. Even when he wasn't he usually didn't join them; he just didn't enjoy it like they did. So mostly it was just the two of them. At first their classmates had teased them, refusing to believe they weren't a couple, but they eventually matured enough to leave them alone.   
  
But then there was Cho.   
  
When Harry started dating her another problem occurred. Cho was very jealous. She just wouldn't believe that nothing happened during the sleepovers no matter how hard Harry tried to convince her. Which wasn't really hard enough if you asked Hermione. But Harry was deeply in love and he would do anything to keep Cho, so the sleepovers became fewer and fewer, to Hermione's great disappointment.   
She blamed Cho and wanted to tell Harry to break-up with her, to find somebody who trusted him. Somebody who deserved him. But part of her knew it wasn't her business to have a say, besides she knew Harry would never listen. He was living proof to the phrase, Love is blind. No maybe it was more like, Love is deaf in Harry's case, Hermione decided. It certainly seemed to make him deaf anyway. He heard only what he wanted to hear and he would never have listened to anything negative anyone had to say about Cho. He only had eyes (and ears) for her, and she seemed to take up more of his time every day. So the sleepovers stopped.  
  
Now Hermione realised was the perfect time to pick up their old tradition. She only hoped Harry felt the same. She shot him a questioning glance.  
  
"Yes" he said slowly. A look of remembrance came across his face. "I'd like that"  
  
"Good" she answered feeling happy and relieved that he too seemed to have missed their nightly meetings. She stood up from the bed and Harry followed her example.   
  
"We better go to lunch now" he said checking his watch. "Otherwise we'll never make it to Divination."  
  
"Yeah, Madame Trelawney only has so many times left to predict your death before we graduate, you don't want to take that pleasure away from her" Hermione teased.  
  
"Here's another idea" Harry said, thinking of Madame Trelawney and her predictions.   
"Why don't we just skip divination all together and go flying instead"  
  
"Oh no you don't, Mr. Potter" Hermione said in her best Headgirl voice, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the door. "And flying, is that the best you could come up with to tempt me? You know I hate flying! "  
  
"Please..." Harry begged. "You could go on my broom."  
  
"Is that a promise or a threat? " She joked.  
  
"What do you mean? " Harry asked pretending to be hurt. "Don't you trust me?"  
  
"You know I do" She answered squeezing his hand to emphasise her point. "It's just that you always try to impress me with all those flying tricks."  
  
"Is it working? " Harry enquired smiling, his eyes twinkling.  
  
"Well if your goal is to scare me half to death you certainly succeeded" she said twinkling back at him.   
  
"Can't blame a guy for trying. But okay, if you come I promise to be more careful and not so impressing."  
  
"There are other ways to win a girls heart you know" she joked.  
  
"Really? " Harry said grinning. "Do tell."  
  
"Well" Hermione began suddenly aware that they were still holding hands. The feeling of his hand in hers was making her a little unfocused. It felt a bit weird; she should probably let go of his hand now she decided. But it also felt a little nice and it would be kind of strange if she just let go. But on the other hand...  
  
"I'm waiting" Harry prompted.   
  
Oh, he was waiting. For what? Hermione asked herself. Her mind seemed to have gone completely blank. Oh right her answer. The heart winning advice. Suddenly she was thrown back in to reality. She turned to him with a mischievous grin on her face.   
  
"Well, you can start by taking her to lunch. And you know what all girls love?"  
  
"What? " Harry asked suspiciously.  
  
"A good Divination lesson" she finished triumphantly.  
  
Harry broke out in uncontrollable laughter and she joined in. It warmed her heart to see him so happy again.   
  
"Alright, alright we'll go. You know it's not half bad now that you decided to take the course after all." he said surprising her by pulling her in to a hug.   
  
"I've missed you" he murmured into her hair.  
  
"What are you talking about? " she asked holding him an armslength away from her. "I've been right here all along"  
  
"I know" he replied. "But I haven't. I've been to upset about Cho to pay enough attention to any of my friends especially you. I'm sorry"  
  
"It's okay" she said. "I'm just glad you're back."  
  
Suddenly he pulled her into another hug. This one even tighter. She took a deep breath and breathed in his scent. It was so familiar. (It reminded her of a song she once heard.)  
  
Feels like home to me  
Feels like home to me  
Feels like I'm all the way back where I belong  
  
She belonged here. She felt safe and secure with his arms around her. It felt so good to have him back, really back. Just when she was starting to think they would stand like this forever there was a sudden knock on the door, followed by the entrance of a grinning Ron.  
  
"Oh sorry, am I interrupting something? " he asked giving them a meaningful look.   
Whereas the other students had stopped teasing them, Ron never seemed to miss a chance.   
  
"We were just talking" Harry explained.   
  
"About old times" Hermione added quickly. Silently cursing herself as she felt her cheeks go red.  
  
"Aha" Ron answered smiling doubtedly. "How about getting back to reality and joining me for lunch?"  
  
And so the three friends made their way to the Great Hall. Hermione felt happier then she had for weeks. It was starting to feel like old times again. Well maybe not exactly like old times, Ron was with Julie now and Harry, well, the relationship and break-up with Cho had changed him. Hermione guessed that she had changed as well, it was only natural. They were growing up. Soon they would be leaving Hogwarts. The thought didn't bother her much though. Somehow she knew that they would always have eachother, no matter what. She looked fondly at her two friends who appeared to be deeply involved in a conversation about quidditch. Ron looked serious as always when this topic was discussed, Harry was laughing and Hermione was reminded once again that it had been a long time since she'd seen him so happy. It gave him this special glow, something that surrounded him, making him a magnet for her eyes.  
Unlike Ron he still had something boyish over him. Maybe it's his hair, she thought as they sat down at the table. It had always been a bit on the wild side. It seemed the more he tried to tame it the wilder it got.   
She watched him run his hand through it, laughing again at something Ron had said. For a moment his eyes met hers she quickly looked away, feeling a bit embarrassed to be caught staring at him. Although there was really nothing wrong about it. Though she tried not to, she couldn't resist looking back at him. As she did she found that he was still looking at her, giving her a curious look. Now she didn't know where to look. Most of all she would have liked to crawl under the table. But then decided against it, since it might seem a little weird. It felt like her eyes were drawn to his, like there was no way to avoid his gaze. Just as she was seriously rethinking the idea of sliding under the table, she was saved by Ron.  
  
"So, do you two want to hang out with me and Julie tonight? We haven't really made any plans. There's a qudditch game I'd like to go to, maybe Ginny will be joining us as well."  
  
"Not if those two don't" Ginny objected, seating herself down beside Hermione. "No way I'm spending another night with those two" she said looking pointedly at her brother who glared at her before, reaching up to embrace Julie who'd made her way to their table.   
  
She was a small blonde girl with vivid eyes, who always seemed full of energy. She'd transferred to Hogwarts about a year ago and was in Ginny's grade. Her family was rather wealthy and she had lived in several different countries. Due to this she knew more languages then anyone else in the whole school, including the teachers. She was also really smart. This had, in the beginning, caused a great deal of jealousy from Hermione. When Julie first arrived Hermione had thought she seemed like a snobby, know-it-all. But when Julie became friends with Ginny and eventually started dating Ron, Hermione was forced to realise how wrong she had been. She soon found out they had a lot in common.   
They often studied together, something Ron wasn't always too happy about. He often complained about Hermione stealing his girlfriend, but he usually shut up when Julie invited him to join them in Library. Then he would disappear quickly, murmuring something bout Harry or Qudditch. He was never angry for long though. He really seemed to care for Julie, in a way Hermione had never seen him care for any girl before. They make a really good couple she decided looking over at them.  
  
"Are we really *that* bad? " Julie asked, leaning over to give Ron a kiss.   
  
"See" Ginny exclaimed. "This is exactly what I mean. They just can't stay away from eachother."  
  
"Well it's not my fault I have such an adorable boyfriend" Julie said smiling at Ron  
  
"No, you're the adorable one" Ron countered, making Julie blush.  
  
"I see what you mean" Hermione said smiling at Ginny, who was rolling her eyes and sighing.   
  
Then she glanced over at Harry who was also looking at Ron and Julie. He however was not amused. The look on his face made Hermione want to reach over and hug him. He looked so lost and so sad.   
  
"Harry" she said softly. At first he didn't react. "Harry" she tried again and this time he looked up. "Are you okay? "  
  
She knew this was a touchy subject for him, but seeing the look on his face she just couldn't let it be.  
  
"I'm fine" He answered softly, almost whispering. The way he said it convinced Hermione that he was anything but fine.   
  
"Harry- " she began, but he cut her off.  
  
"I'm fine" he answered sounding a bit annoyed. Then he seemed to regret the sterness in his voice. "Really" he continued, sounding as if he was trying to convince himself as much as her. He gave her a small smile.  
  
"Okay" she replied. She wasn't convinced but decided to save it for when they were alone. They had to talk about it, sooner or later.   
The rest of the meal passed quickly. They announced their plans for the evening and the reactions were various. Ron of course didn't waste any time thinking up an implying comment and Julie just smiled sweetly at them after hitting Ron playfully in the head. Ginny sighed and mumbled something about asking Colin to spend the evening with her. This was *not* well received by Ron, but another hit in the head from Julie silenced him.   
  
"Do you still need help with that essay tonight? " Hermione asked Ginny, feeling it was time to change the subject.  
  
"Are you kidding?" Ginny said making a face. "I haven't even started. Are you sure you have time though? I'm sure I can manage on my own if you have other plans." she continued glancing at Harry.  
  
"Of course, I have time" Hermione answered. "After all I promised, didn't I?"  
  
"Yes but-" Hermione didn't let her finish,  
  
"No buts. I'm helping you and that's that."  
  
"Besides I have qudditch practice anyway" Harry filled in.  
  
"Alright then" Ginny said, finally convinced. "Thanks"  
  
"Anytime" Hermione answered.   
  
She made a mental plan for the evening, trying to figure out what time she should ask Harry to meet her. Around seven should be good. She turned to tell him this, only to find him once again lost in thought. He looked so lonley and vulnerable, a dreamy look clouding his eyes. She let her gaze travel over his face thinking that the depressed look he wore actually agreed very well with his features.   
Trust Harry to look good even when he's depressed, Hermione thought sighing. Her eyes travelled down his arm stopping at his watch, twenty-five passed twelve. They would be starting in five minutes.  
  
"We better go or we'll be late" she informed the others.  
  
They left the Great Hall and then split up. Hermione, Harry and Ron heading for Divination and Ginny and Julie proceeded to their Potions lesson. Ginny called over her shoulder reminding Hermione of their studydate. Hermione answered with a wave. They walked in silence, which was very rare when Ron was present, but Hermione hardly noticed she was too busy thinking of Harry, trying to think of a way to get through to him. It was her duty and privilege, as his friend, to comfort him. If only he would let her. If only he would admit there still was a problem.  
  
You found hope, you found faith  
Found how fast she could take it away  
Found true love, lost your heart  
Now you don't know who you are  
She made it easy, made it free  
Made you hurt 'til you couldn't see  
Sometimes it stops, sometimes it flows  
But baby this is how love goes  
  
(A/n: Oh well, I've rewritten the last part about a hundred times, I just can't seem to get it right. If you're wondering why the song quotation in the end is there, I can't really explain it. It just seemed right. It's sort of about Harry and Cho, I guess. I am aware that Hermione dropped Divination but in my version she picked it up again. The reason to this is that she wanted to be the first student ever to gradute with an exam in every course. I'm grateful for reviews however short they may be. Hope you stay with me for the next chapter.) 


End file.
